Am I

Often I asked myself what kept me going on time and time. Even though I might fail to do well in exams, in sports, in music. Then again , I asked myself why time and time I have the thought of giving up. Is it because I feel tired of doing these things? What else can I do if I were to give up all these things that I am supposedly capable of achieving ?

Questions often surfaces as I am on the edge of giving up.

Am I able to achieve it?

Am I able to give up the unnecessary?

Am I strong enough to go on?

Am I brave enough to face it?

Am I...

Time and time I know when I am about to give up, I probably didn't put in enough effort. Its because you felt like you did your best. But the actual fact was that I did not. I ASSUMED I did put in my best. If I were to put in my best, why do I feel so sad when I failed to meet certain results? I should be proud of being such a brave soul and proud of all the endless effort I put in to get where I am. I'm probably a mile away from my expected achievement, but does that mean that I give up?

No.

I don't do that.


I know I'm pretty lazy these days as the exams creep in nearer day by day. I can't deny the fact that deep in my heart I'm totally freaking out. Its like my heart is screaming to myself " OH MY GOD" every time I end a revision lesson. Then again, I try to constantly find a motivation to push me on.

I constantly tell myself,

"work hard and work smart.".  I mean I may not be using the smartest way to study, but I'm still experimenting the ways. Not the best though. There's nothing perfect in this world.


I always know when I'm on the verge of breaking down from the constant stress, I'll wear something that belongs to my boyfriend. I don't take pictures of it, I don't say it to other people. But yes, I do that. Not show off that he is my boyfriend , not to tell the whole world that he belongs to me. I wear it to find comfort and strength. Its funny , but I wear it for a reason. I don't exactly need my boyfriend there by my side all the time,  but I still need some strength when I feel like my world is tearing apart due to stress.


I won't give up. Its not time and never time for it.



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Excited to get new sports wear tomorrow! :)

& my dress that I bought online finally came.




off to study. till then.